Sickness and Dirty Underwear
by Maiko2853
Summary: Wainfleet is sick. Max and Jake have to bring him soup. Their progress is hampered by Wainfleet's dirty underwear.


Another funny one-shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. James Cameron does.

* * *

**_Sickness and Dirty Underwear_**

"ACHOO!"

"What the heck?" Jake asked.

"ACHOO!"

"Hey Jake, what's that noise?" Max asked.

"ACHOO!"

"Hey man, are you okay?" Jake asked.

"ACHOO!"

"Wainfleet, shut up!" Trudy screamed.

"Sorry guys, I feel sick today, I think I caught a cold when we had to train in the rain last night." Wainfleet replied.

His nose was stuffy and his posture was slouched. He had bags under his eyes and he looked tired.

"Wainfleet, you should go get some sleep, remember when you kept cursing over the intercom last time?" Jake asked.

Wainfleet smiled. "Well, I'm going to go to bed then. Can I have some tomato soup?"

Before anyone could answer, Max grabbed Trudy and dragged her to the kitchen.

"Thanks guys." Wainfleet said, smiling as he walked out of the mess hall.

"I am NOT his mother." Trudy said harshly.

"Look Trudy, I may not like Wainfleet much, but he's sick, and the unsaid rules of this base says we must help him get better!"

Trudy opened her mouth to protest.

"Besides, do you want to catch what he has?"

Any protest Trudy had went out the door.

"Good. Now let's go make that canned soup before he starts complaining over the intercom like he did last time he was sick."

* * *

Max and Jake came to Wainfleet's room with a tray of tomato soup and orange juice.

"Let's get this over with." Jake said.

But before he could knock on the door, Wainfleet's room's stench had seeped out and flooded their nostrils, making both of them gag.

"First let's get some exo-packs and safety suits on." Max said through a hand covering his mouth.

The two came back wearing exo-packs and orange protective body suits. They were armed with tranquilizer guns, fabreeze, and bars of soap. Max held the tray while Jake held the gun in his hand. They slowly entered the room. Wainfleet slept on the bed, the only almost clean spot in the room.

"It's quiet Jake, too quiet." Max said unsurely.

"It's okay Max, it's not one of those movies that'll have something fly at you from the-"

"Look out!"

"AHHHH! Get it off me! Get it off me!" Jake screeched, clawing at the thing on his face.

"Don't worry Jake, I'll-NOOOOOO! Not the Soup!"

"Retreat! Retreat!" Jake yelled, finally getting the thing off his helmet.

They hurried out the door and held the empty bowl of soup. Jake looked behind him to see the thing that had attacked him was a pair of dirty underwear. The thing was eating the spilled soup. It stopped momentarily and looked at Jake.

It hissed out a whispering kind of shriek. "Yoooooouuuuuu noooooooot massssssterrrrrrrr!"

Jake and Max screamed in terror as they slammed the door shut and fled down the hallway

* * *

"So you mean to tell me that a pair of dirty underwear attacked you guys?" Trudy asked.

"Yes." Max and Jake replied in union.

"… … … … … …" Was Trudy's reply.

"We mean it!"

"Whatever. It's a good thing I made a spare batch just in case." Trudy said as she handed them another bowl of soup.

She was really annoyed. The guys had probably thought it would be funny if they flushed the soup down the toilet. HA! Boys.

"Now don't lose this one." Trudy said through clenched teeth.

"Thanks Trudy."

"Sure."

* * *

"Okay, so far so good." Jake said.

They had made it half way into Wainfleet's room. The underwear monster showed no sign of movement.

"Let's wake him up." Max said, looking around wildly.

"Okay, Wain-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Jake screamed as the underwear jumped on him.

"Doooooooon't ssssssssspeeeeeaaaaak." It wheezed out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Max screamed as he dropped the soup.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jake screamed.

By some insane stroke of luck, Jake managed to catch it and he sighed with relief.

"Close one."

He looked at it, only to see the soup, bowl, and his hand being eaten by the underwear monster.

"Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!" Jake shrieked girlishly.

Thook! The underwear monster suddenly went limp and fell on the floor, with a tranquilizer dart in it.

"Thanks Max. I owe you one."

"No problem Jake." Max said, smiling.

Max turned around to pick up the empty bowl of soup, and paled as he saw dozens upon dozens of underwear monsters. Their sickly molds glowing green, red, yellow, orange and blue. They let out a shriek-like roar.

The duo promptly ran/wheeled out of Wainfleet's room and just barely made it.

"That was too close." Jake said as he turned around.

Max saw an underwear monster on his back

"Jake, stand perfectly still."

"Why? What's on me Max?"

"Calm down, it'll only eat your head if you move."

Jake saw the underwear monster.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Jake screamed as he grabbed and then flung the underwear monster off his back.

Max quickly stabbed the underwear multiple times with the bar of soap. He only stopped when he was sure it was dead. The two men breathed deeply before looking at each other.

"Let's go get some more soup." Jake said tiredly.

* * *

"Alright, that's it! I'm going to bring the soup to Wainfleet myself! I have no idea what you two have been doing, but this is enough!" Trudy bellowed.

"Trudy! Don't! It'll eat you!" Jake cried.

"Yeah, you should have seen how it attacked Jake!" Max cried as well.

"That's your problem, not mine." Trudy said coolly

She made another batch of tomato soup and orange juice on a tray and headed for Wainfleet's room.

* * *

Trudy knocked on the door. "Wainfleet?"

"Come in!" He said with a hoarse voice.

She walked in with the tray, no underwear monsters so far. She was right, Jake and Max had been goofing around.

"Hey, sorry it took so long to get your soup. Max and Jake had some difficulty, so I came instead. "

"It's okay, at least you didn't get attacked by my dirty underwear." Wainfleet said.

Trudy laughed. "Yeah, good thing I didn't get-WAIT! DIRTY UNDERWEAR!"

A dozen underwear monsters suddenly jumped on Trudy.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Get it off me! Get it off me!" Trudy screamed.

* * *

Hope ya'll enjoyed it. Remember to review.


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